No Unwanted Side-Effects Like Christiaan Tarbox, Please

Neckbeard Autist Christiaan Tarbox, who wrote Minnesota vs. the measles- An essay by a supposed ‘side effect’ in the Sun Post

While you parents justifiably fret about your children being a full-syndrome autist unable to talk or shit independently, there is another vaccine side-effect you should fear them having. That would be your son or daughter ending up a “high-functioning”, pimple-nosed, neckbeard autist like Christiaan Tarbox. After all, who wants their kid going through life being a socially repugnant loser who thinks they owe nothing to society by refusing to fit in? Not me, if I have any.

But in a local Minnesota paper, serial killer look-alike Tarbox wrote this gem:

I’m not going to go into the science of vaccines and the fallacies of the attitudes against them, but to see reports of communities being tricked into believing that life-saving vaccinations “cause” autism isn’t just offensive to me as an autistic man, but it’s downright evil.

Autists like Tarbox are so fragile, so insufferably snowflake-y that any serious discussion about preventing the fastest growing pediatric neurological disorder is taken as personal insult. Tarbox is in fact a perfect example of why all autism should be prevented. Would you really want your kid to avoid a two-week rash only to end up like this?

Growing up with autism was not easy by any stretch. Even though I was a bright kid, I suffered significantly in my emotional, mental and social development. I had little to no friends, I had a poor grasp on social cues and niceties, my interests were narrowed and borderline obsessive, and every day ranged from being a mild inconvenience to an indescribable nightmare.

But then he had his amazing transformation guys!

I managed to move out, go to college, get my degree, own a car, live in my own apartment, get a job, become an award-winning journalist [Autism Investigated Note: because craptacular journalism deserves craptacular awards], find a stable and ever-growing network of amazing friends, and carve out a true niche for myself in Minneapolis’ artistic community.

“move out”? “go to college”? “get a job”? Wow!!!!!!!!!

He moved out of his parents’ basement! It’s a miracle.

No mention of any romantic endeavors surprise surprise. Judging by that stunning visage, Tarbox’s willie is as dry as the Sahara Desert during a record drought. The only vagina he probably ever saw was the one that shat him into existence. The female autists get way, WAY more pussy than he does.

Christiaan Tarbox is a sorry caricature of how low the bar for success is set for even the most able of us autists. Who can blame parents for preferring unvaccinated normal children to atrocious spectacles like him?

The only real reason he bought a car was because this stopped showing up to his house:

Make America Neurotypical Again.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on Google+Share on RedditPin on PinterestFlattr the authorDigg thisBuffer this pageShare on TumblrShare on StumbleUpon

20 Thoughts on “No Unwanted Side-Effects Like Christiaan Tarbox, Please

  1. Sorry, that was just mean. You shouldn’t have written it.

    • Sorry you feel that way, Rebecca. In case you didn’t notice, I have the same diagnosis as the subject of my post. I have the right to trash destructive “role models” for autists like Tarbox in my own humorous way.

      I was also a frequent rider of the short bus.

      • Van Forsch on June 4, 2017 at 8:44 pm said:

        Christiaan Tarbox is a staff writer for the Minneapolis Sun-Post, and he’s good.

        I had to go looking for the source of a quote he used in his column. “What they say is, ‘Remember, measles is just a five-to-seven-day disease. Autism is forever.” This from former state epidemiologist,Michael Osterholm, talking about how some people have exploited the Somail community.

        What’s interesting is autism rates in the community haven’t fallen since Somali families started to refuse MMR vaccination. If the measles vaccine were the cause of autism, rates should have declined.

        You can mock Tarbox’s appearance. You might think it’s funny to post pictures of the short bus when talking about those of us with autism. But come on, Jake. You’re smarter than that.

        • No one is exploiting the Somali community except for the crooked health officials who knowingly poison them. If you have any statistics to support your assertion about MMR and autism, I’d like to see them. All that statistics I’ve seen produced by health authorities are fraudulent since they can’t stop lying.

          Believe it or not, humor is a great way to draw people in who might not otherwise be interested in this issue. Don’t like my humor, don’t read it. But let’s be real now, it was Tarbox’s choice alone not to shave before his close-up. Do you really think that would go over well in a professional photo-op of any normal person?

      • Jake, your little rant says way more about you than it does about Mr. Tarbox.

    • Jane on May 30, 2017 at 1:18 am said:

      Sorry, but I bet if he has anything to do with the “neurodiverse” movement then his “journalism” job is funded by pharmaceutical industry. Not sorry. At all.

  2. Brian Deer on May 30, 2017 at 2:54 pm said:

    Project much Jake?

    Kind regards,


  3. Gibson on June 9, 2017 at 4:05 am said:

    Once in a while someone comes into existence who reminds us that we’re not all horrible like you are, and I suppose I should thank you for being soulless- because you’re a damn fine example of who I NEVER want my son to become. Regardless of the fact that he has autism, I never want him to be ANYthing like you- so thank you for the content, because I can show him how to NOT be an asshole with this one simple article. Maybe keep that nastiness to yourself from now on. Your lack of decency is showing, tuck that the hell back in. Also, figure out another career path if you can manage it, because your skills are completely lacking here. You’re awful. Have a nice day, jackass.

  4. Pingback: Mollie Tibbetts Retweeted Skank's Pro-Vax Screed, Got Murdered by Illegal - Autism Investigated

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Post Navigation