Ethan Lindenberger To Tell The Senate How Mother Put Him in an Oven

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Time to fire your six-figure-salaried PR agents, CDC. Ethan Lindenberger has just found the easily-swayed group your consultants completely missed: teenagers. He’s even going to testify before the Senate on Tuesday.

Ethan Lindenberger is totally not a spiteful teenager. Just ask every mainstream media source. He said so himself, “I’m a very obedient child. I don’t really try to go against my mom. Even though I’m 18, I don’t pull that card.”

He’s a very obedient child! He doesn’t pull that card! He just posts that meme likening his mother’s decision to not get him toxic vaccinations as an infant to her putting him in an oven. No big deal!

Oh, and he called his parents “stupid” in his original Reddit post to internet strangers asking how to get vaccinated. And then there’s the fact that he never even called or emailed the CDC, which was his whole basis for going against his mom in the first place.

It’s too bad the archaic CDC isn’t like Reddit. Dialing your iPhone won’t show the world what an obediant child you are by goading strangers into piling on your public insults of your parents. That oven meme of his mother would never see the light of day either. Do a better job CDC! If there’s one group that hates parents as much as you, it’s teenagers!

Start your own message board for angry teenagers where they can vent their hatred at their parents. What better way to emphasize to these impressionable, Bernie-loving kids that only the government is what really has their best interests at heart?

Meanwhile, Lindenberger will testify to the US Senate how his mother put him in an oven.

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6 Thoughts on “Ethan Lindenberger To Tell The Senate How Mother Put Him in an Oven

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